


when your gone

by halsteadchicago (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18, 15x20, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Comes Out (Supernatural), Destiel - Freeform, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Men Crying, Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28136031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/halsteadchicago
Summary: after losing cas, dean goes to his room. he hits play on his iPod, hoping some music will comfort him. the first song on his playlist starts, it's "can't help falling in love" by Elvis. he struggles not to turn it off, because it brings back memories of him and cas.//the real ending of 15x18-15x20, I do not own the characters that belong to the CW but wanted to give fans a better ending//
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 33





	1. 15x18

{Flashback}

Nothing was going right when it came to try to win against Chuck, Dean was close to giving up because how would they win against the creator of the universe? Cas and him were now at the bunker alone since Sam and Jack were working on a different lead, he finally turned around and saw Castiel had not made many moves to walk towards him since their last face to face with chuck.

"Cas?"

"Dean"

Was all the angel said as he didnt make any move to the hunter, this made Dean sigh and found himself walking closer to the angel who wouldn't even look him in the eye which Dean found weird .So he tried to place his hand on the shoulder but Cas just looked down at the ground, Dean didn't know why Cas wouldn't even look at him or even show that smile that he loved so much to see especially at times like these.

"Cas if this is about not stopping you, im really sorry just please talk to me"

"It is not about that dean"

"C-"

Dean didn't even finish as he felt a sharp pain in his heart, he felt himself fall down to his knees which made Castiel rush to his arms and try to lift him up. Dean coughed and held on to Castiel as hard as he could, why did it feel like something was stabbing him from the inside like a knife or like death would. He didnt even try to fight as Castiel helped walk him over to the bookcase across the room, it felt like time was running out and Dean's life hanged there not sure where it was going to land.

When dean looked up and saw that Castiel had moved them away from where Billie was standing, he smiled at Cas before falling down and dragging the angel along with him.

"Dean, we need to get out of here"

"Dean?!"

"My heart"

That was all Dean said as he felt another wave of sharp pain, Castiel knew wherever they went that Bille would follow them because she was death after all and could go anywhere.

But he remembered one of the old rooms back here at the bunker, it would be safe for Dean and him unless Castiel was willing to call the empty or face the both of them dying.

Cas looked up and saw that he had successfully zapped them away from death, but he looked down and saw that Dean was finally coming back from almost dying from Billie but she was coming and he could hear it.

"I am so sorry dean, I have to do this"

{end of flashback}

It had been 2 weeks since the Empty had taken Cas and Billie, Dean hadn't been the same since that day or hardly spoken is the right term. He didnt go on any hunts with Sam, but he had Jack so Dean would stay in his room all day till he needed to go get food.

"Dean, Its sam just checking in"

"I'm fine sam "

Dean put his phone down and looked over at his dresser and saw the iPod, 12 years Cas had been in his life and suddenly he was gone and Dean missed him like crazy. Sam would be home in a few hours and would have him go watch Jack, which Dean didnt mind cuz He really liked the kid now.

_3:08 PM_

Dean glanced down at his phone and saw he hadn't really moved from this spot in hours, he groaned as he found himself getting up and walking down to their kitchen and he looked around and saw that he was still alone. which he didn't mind because he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone if Cas was here and saw how he looked then there was no doubt he would be a mother hun to Dean right now.

"cereal is good"

he said to himself as he pulled a bowel and some milk before walking over to the table, but as he tried to sit himself down Dean just walked up to his room because of too many memories of Castiel at that table and he didn't want to cry.

"Why did you have to go"

Dean whispered as he sat down at his desk and looked over at the chair which held the trenchcoat, he did not think twice as he grabbed the trenchcoat and placed it around his body before getting back to his food.

he was never the type to wear clothes of people he lost before, but Cas was different because he felt the same and never got to tell him how he really felt. Dean would go back and kiss Cas in Purgatory if he had the chance, he just wanted to see the angel one more time.

_3:30 pm_

Dean was now laying back down on the bed still in the trench coat and had even put on his iPod and looked through the songs he had on here, Why he ever let Cas download music on here was something that he never could know. But he looked through the playlist titled "Playlist for Dean" which he knew Cas must have made when he lent him the iPod, Dean clicked shuffle and closed his eyes as he heard " I can't help falling in love with you" and he felt a tear roll down his face as he placed the iPod down on the bed.

"why Cas"

Dean whispered as he was now full-on crying and he was thinking of all the memories he had with Castiel, from their first meeting to their last moments together which was a memory Dean wishes he could forget.

"why Elvis" 

Dean whispered as he still crying wrapped his arms around himself as the trenchcoat started to get some of the tears, but he did not care if sam or jack caught him crying because Dean just lost his angel.

"I miss Cas"

Dean cried into his pillow as he heard the bunker door open and could hear sam calling him , but he just kept his face into the pillow as memories and the music kept playing in the background .


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters are shorter then chapter 1 because its hard to write those each time, but enjoy this new chapter :)

It had been a month since the empty had taken Castiel and Dean was left to go on in this world without the angel by his side, they had finally won against Chuck and saved everyone once again. So now they got to live the life that they wanted and Amara became one so Jack could live a life without taking her brother's spot, But Dean and Sam had retired from hunting which was a shock to Dean himself.

Sam had enrolled back in school while the three of them still lived in the bunker, since Amara had promised no monster would come and attack the new life they were building. Dean wasn't going back to school cuz he never was one for that, but he was job hunting and even spent some nights in Castiel`s old room.

"I think I'm lost without you"

Dean whispered as he finished a job application and was looking around the room, Cas never got the time to make this his own but it still smelt like him in its own way. Dean chuckled as he picked up the tape he made for him, he remembers the day he had made it for Castiel and how Cas listened to it a lot.

Suddenly Dean knew what he had to do and he was going to tell Sam, cuz he would need to use the impala for where he was going. Dean somehow got a grave for Castiel in the same place that they had met all those 12 years ago, he needed to go there and let go of everything he was holding in.

"Sam-"

"I know, go dean ill be with Jack"

Dean hugged his little brother before running out to the impala, he had a couple of days drive before reaching there. normally he hated seeing people do this but it was different with Cas, Dean knew if he didn't say this then he would be the same way all his life.

*at the grave*

Dean brought a tie that Cas use to wear a long time ago and placed it down on the headstone that read, "Castiel Winchester" he felt a tear fall down his cheek as he sat down in front and took a deep breath before placing his hand on the headstone.

{Hey, Cas, Its Me Dean Winchester, and I`m sorry I haven't been here before but it was hard. Cuz I didn't want it to seem like you were gone, But you gave me a chance to live my life and I can never repay you. Cas, when you.. when you died you told me that you believed the one thing you wanted, was something that you could never have... but you were wrong I always wanted you but was too afraid}

Dean smiled and wiped away the tears that went down his face, he promised to visit again tomorrow but he needs to get back to the bunker and he wanted to find some way to make sure no one would ever forget Cas and what he did for him.

He climbed back into the impala and turned on the radio, he chuckled with pain in his voice as he heard "For I Can't help falling in love with you" Dean laughed knowing this was a song that Cas loved to play.

*time jump*

Today was Jack's birthday and it was the first one since Cas had been taken away , Dean has slowly been letting go of the past but today was going to be hard for all of them .

That's why he was taking charge today because Cas would want him to throw Jack the best 4th birthday he could , " Sam get the cake okay? I'll get the games " Dean as he was crossing things off from his clipboard, he was still grieving but Dean could do this for them even if it destroyed him .

"Dean , is Claire coming?"

Jack had always consider Claire his sister since they shared the same adoptive father , he was excited to meet her but worried because she didn't know he existed .

"Yes she will "

Dean smiled and had Jack go off and help Sam since he wanted to make sure he didn't forget the cake , like he always forget the pie in the past when Dean asked for it .

{ 2:05 pm }

Everything was now set up and Dean had time to himself since Jack was bugging Sam about watching a flim till their friends showed up , he looked down and saw the trench coat next to the job application he had gotten .

"Why do you want to work here "

He whispered as he sat down in front of the desk , there was a photo of Dean and Cas while they were working the grave case awhile ago . "I'm doing it Cas " he whispered as he looked down at the application, how he would get this job was more a mystery then his retiring at 40 years ago .

"Dean"

Dean looked up and swore he heard Castiel's voice but turns out it was Jack , letting him know that Claire and Jody had just arrived for his party . “Alright “ he smiled at him before takingone last look at the photo , before he walked out of his room with Jack at his side .

He can’t believe there was a time he hated Jack because he saw Lucifer in him , but now he saw Cas in him and Dean now consider him his kid and even a Winchester now .

“Do you think Cas is looking over us right now?”

“Jack, he always will be “

“You loved him , didn’t you ?”

Dean looked down at the young kid in front of him ,and he just found himself nodding and in shock that even Jack could see how he felt for Cas .

“Yeah I did , but it’s too late now “

“It’s never too late “

Jack said as he ran off to greet his sister and his new aunt , Dean slowly walked with him and still shocked in what Jack said to him . Could Cas come back? And if he did , would it be too late for Dean to tell him that he felt the same for him?.

“Dean time to start “

Jody’s voice pulled him out of his mind and he walked over to her , she heard from Sam what had happened and was now showing support to Dean . But deep down she knew Dean needed time and space , and that’s what she and Claire promised to give to him .


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as Dean tries to live his life and find a way to save Cas, Castiel wakes up in the empty after being taken.

Dean was now laying back on his bed while staring at the application that was next to his head, he had finished it but had yet to give it back to the company and he knew he needed to do it soon. Sam had gotten a job already but was out with Eileen right now , so watching Jack who had discovered a thing called Netflix had fallen to Dean who had nothing to do since leaving the hunter's life.

"Dean? Can we cook together?" Jack's voice was outside the door and Dean finally sat up , "yeah I'll be there in a minute " he coughed before hiding the picture of Cas under his pillow before walking out of his room.

He thought about what Jack had said a few days ago, it made Dean wonder if it wasn't too late to bring Cas back to him. His mom once told him that you never let the love go, it was the only thing he liked about her being back.

"Hold on tight " he whispered hoping somewhere that Cas would find his voice, Dean went off to help Jack cook some breakfast but he was going to find a way to bring Castiel back no matter how long it took him.

[In The Empty]

The last thing that Castiel remembered was coming out and telling Dean how he felt, and then he felt the empty come and take him back to this horrible and quiet place . He knew he had saved Dean which is what he wanted to do but he still wished he could have had more time with him, now he looked up to see the empty was looking down at him.

"Will you finally go to sleep now?"

"No"

Castiel stood up and looked over at the empty who was now angry, he smiled knowing Dean was safe and the empty would never win against them. After all free will always wins, even in an after a place like the empty.

" _Hold on"_

Castiel looked around and smiled knowing it was Deans's voice, and if he was telling him to hold on then that's is what he was going to do. He wondered if it meant that he would see his hunter again, " why not? You are stuck here " the empty was now closer to him, Cas closed his eyes and thought of how Dean made him feel before he looked at the empty.

"Deans coming for me "

The empty laughed before throwing hands and walking off, Cas knew the empty would try everything to get him to sleep. But he was going to stay awake until he saw Dean again, he didn't care how long he did this but Cas would never give him. Cas stayed where he was and thought of every moment he had with the Winchester's, one day he would feel Dean in his arms again and that's is what is keeping him going.

"I love you "

He repeated the last words he ever spoke on earth, he felt a strange light around him and saw the empty glaring before disappearing along with the empty and Cas saw he was on earth again but he was human this time.

Castiel didn't know much just that the empty had apparently seemed him back here, he was human now but how was he to find Dean and Sam and would Jack even notice he was back on earth?. He walked to seem like miles but found a road which had a gas station not far, he started the walk even through his feet hurt and he just wanted to lay down but he needed to get back to the Winchesters right now.

"Excuse me? Could i borrow a phone?"

He asked the cashier who stepped back like she was scared but handed him a phone, Cas thanked her before dialing Dean's number and he waited but kept looking at the cashier who was just waiting for the right moment to call the police on him but he took a deep breath as the phone kept ringing.

"Who is this"

"Hello, Dean"

"This isn't funny"

"Dean , come to the gas station i called from, see if I'm playing you then"

Castiel hanged up the phone and handed it back to the the cashier before walking outside, He really hoped that Dean would track because he wanted to see him especially after confessing and wondered if it changed anything. It seemed like hours and he watched a lot of cars until he heard the sound of the impala arriving, Cas stood up and saw Dean get out and look around until he noticed him standing there.

~

"Cas?"

Dean really couldn't believe that Castiel was standing there or the fact it was really him , he found himself running over before stopping when he was face to face with him.

“Are you really him?”

“Yea “

“How can I be sure ?”

Dean looked over at him and saw that he was quiet so he turned around to leave , “last thing, I ever said to you was that I love you “ he stopped and faced him again . No monster or even hunter or angel knew that Cas told him that , so he believed it was him but Dean was shocked that Cas was standing right in front of him .

“Let’s go home “

Dean whispered but walked back to the impala as he kept looking over his shoulder , and Cas had followed him back and climbed in shotgun before smiling at him .

“Cas before we go, I-“

“I know , I heard you “

Cas placed his hand on Dean before they both knew there was still alto of questions , but for once Dean was more going to let Cas die on him not again . “Jack and Sam will be glad to see you “ Dean smiled at him before driving them back, he could see that Cas was happy to be with him and he was glad he was back here too .

Dean placed his hand to stop Castiel before they showed Sam and Jack they were here , “Cas , I want this with you ..I just have bad relationship in the past so please “ Cas just nodded and held Dean ‘s hand before they got out of the car .


	4. Chapter 4

{same day }

Jack and Sam had been playing board games since Sam was off today and Jack wanted to spend time with Uncle Sam , All they remembered was Dean getting a phone call and walking out saying he would be back .

Dean knew that they didn't expect him to walk back in with Castiel but here he was and he knew he had to explain to them how he was back but he didn't even know himself .

"I will explain everything "

Cas said after what seemed like hours of silence and Jack just finally let go of hugging his dad and then went and hugged Dean . "So I never went to sleep and that bugged the empty - " Cas started to explain as Jack made popcorn appear because he was hungry .

*2 hours later *

Castiel had finally explained why he was back and how it was really him , but now it was time to drop the bomb . "I'm human , permanently because it was my price for leaving " he explained and felt Dean grab his hand and nod , Sam had been taking this all in while Jack was in shock in hearing of how his dad had come back to them .

"Can I get some sleep now?"

Cas asked and the Winchesters nodded but Dean wanting to tell Cas the truth , told him he would stay with him in his room tonight and Cas nodded as he was too tired to fight him .

"Can you stay ?"

Castiel asked as Dean handed him some clothes to change into , he nodded and left to get changed which didn't take long cuz Cas was a fast changer bur Dean was already asleep in the bed . "Right where j belonged " he wrapped his arms around Dean not knowing if he would still be here tomorrow when he opened his eyes again .

*next morning *

There was still fear that the empty would come and take Castiel back , but Dean was doing something that he should have done a long time ago. He was going to take Castiel out on a date and he wasn't going to let the empty take him away again , "you dressed ?" Dean who was still in bed with him asked as they both started to wake up .

"We both aren't "

Cas laughed and went to wrap his arms around Dean but Dean pulled him in for a kiss , "let's get one date in before I tell Sam and Jack" he whispered before getting up .

Both of them were a fast dresser and walked down together to the kitchen , Sam was still asleep but Jack was up and eating some cereal . “Morning dads “ He said before going back to hiscereal , Cas looked over at Dean who chuckled before walking towards the fridge .

“Dean?”

“Get breakfast then we go , Jack you okay being with Sam this morning?”

“Yeah “

Jack smiled and finished his breakfast before leaving Dean and Castiel alone , Castiel just followed Dean to the fridge and poured himself some cereal before Dean joined him with some eggs and toast .

{2 months later}

Once Amara had come and promised them that the empty would not come for Castiel again, or she would let her anger come and even gave Jack a toy puppy before going off and making sure her brother stayed away from them. "Dean? its time" Castiel`s voice had brought him back to the current time, He smiled and closed the bedroom door before taking Cas`s hand and walking them out to the car.

"so I had a grave?"

Dean chuckled and nodded as the ride to the site wasn't too far but was far enough that he could cry if he needed too, "yeah, but not anymore since your back with me" Dean looked over to see Cas smiling and he still couldn't believe that one day he wished he could have another chance with Cas and now here he was with him.

Castiel didn't care as they walked up to the grave once they had arrived, he laid his head on Dean`s shoulder as he looked down at his grave which was now in front of them. "hey, that's not me anymore" He whispered when he saw that Dean had gone silent and he turned him around, "I'm right here" He smiles and even lifted up his face before seeing a hammer not far from them.

_*10 minutes later*_

The grave was destroyed and they had to run as the keeper of the grounds had chased them out, "now what?" Cas asked Dean as they climbed back into the car and hurried to drive off before the keeper had seen their car. "the first date, that we never had" was all Dean replied as he actually went the speed limit, as they found their way onto the highway and sped away from that area.

"dean, the bunker is that way"

"We aren't going to the bunker"

"why? I like it"

"our date is burgers and shakes Cas"

Cas just nodded because he missed human food and wondered what shakes tasted like, he hadn't had one since the one case with Sam a few years ago. "is sam okay with this?" He asked as the memory of that case came to mind, "yeah, he took Jack to the zoo" Dean patted his hand before putting his hand back on the steering wheel.

"here we are"

Dean laughed as he ran out and stood in the front while waiting for Castiel to open the door, "I'm human you know" Cas slapped him as they walked in together and he looked up and saw the lady wave at them before Cas`s eyes went wide.

"anael?"

"I got a place for you guys"

Anael smiled at him and had her brother and his date follow her to a closed room, "so no one will judge you, as you asked dean. now just type your order into the phone and ill be back" She waved bye to them and it was not just them again. Cas never thought he would have a date with Dean, well one where they both consider it a date and not for a case or something.


	5. Wedding?

{2 years later}

He couldn't believe that it had been 2 years since he had gotten back and they had left that life behind them, Jack was now learning human school from Sam and Dean when they didn't work at their jobs. Castiel hadn't gotten a job yet mostly because he wanted to watch Jack when the Winchesters both worked, He did learn how to cook from some chef on the tv and even Dean said he loved his pies.

But he was his boyfriend and Castiel felt that was his duty to say, but that's why he was learning how to make more baked goods. "Jack, you need to clean up" Cas chuckled as his son sighed before running off to the shower, he couldn't believe that they were now a family who didn't risk being hurt by a monster or the angels.

there were some days when he missed being an angel and having wings, "Hey cutie" Dean kissed his cheek as he wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist as he spun him around and Cas smiled when he placed his hand on Dean's cheek. "breakfast in 5" He whispered before breaking apart from Dean and putting some eggs into the pan, his boyfriend chuckled and walked off to the table.

*later that day*

Dean was glad that Claire and Jody took Jack to see something called a musical, Dean didn't really care for those things but it gave him more time to spend with Cas. He still can't believe 1 year ago he asked Castiel to be his boyfriend, the most weirdest way as they were just enjoying some beers when Dean popped the question.

"Dean? ready to go?"

"yeah"

He hopped off the bench and chased his angel into the water, he knew Cas didn't mind it but he hated calling him out loud. but today he was going to what he always joked about with Sam because he never saw himself settling down with someone let alone his best friend, and yet here he was about to ask Castiel to take his last name as his partner.

Sam who had shown up with Eileen to witness his brothers big day smiled as he saw Dean get down on one knee, "he said yes!" Dean yelled to no one as he pulled Castiel in for another kiss. Their father would be rolling over in his grave right now, But Sam didn't care cuz they both had the life and love they wanted but never thought they could have.

Dean ran over and pulled Eileen in for a hug as they now enjoyed Sam and his wife Eileen, "so after the wedding then what?" Eileen asked as Castiel was showing off the made ring by Dean to them all. "everything" Dean whispered as they walked back to the impala and all climbed in , Dean actually let Sammy drive so that he could just make out with his fiance in the back seat "To the future " He whispered as he buried his head into Cas's shoulder.

~

{1 Year later}

The wedding was small and Jody had been the preacher, Cas wanted more but none of his family wanted to come and celebrate this but he didn't need them because he had his new family and Claire And Jack would be here. That is all that really mattered as he had married and became a Winchester, "Cas, hurry" Dean called from outside as the door was slammed shut and Cas's mind went back to the current time.

He grabbed his jacket as he walked out of the house and His feet touched the sand, Cas looked up to see His husband was waving from across the beach. They had moved here after the honeymoon and were left alone, the rest of their family lived only a few miles away but this was their life now.

"Dean!"

He chuckled as he didn't even walk but ran until he had wrapped his arms around Dean, "hmm, come on" Dean grabbed his hand as they started walking along the beach. Castiel didn't even think about the people that were surfing in the water, He had Dean by his side and Cas never thought this would be possible and yet he gets to call Dean Winchester his husband forever.

[time jump]

Sam and Eileen had joined them on the beach since today was the anniversary and they all wanted to celebrate together, Jack would come later after he finished playing with Claire at their new hang out place .

Dean was looking at photos of the past like when they first met Castiel , he didn't like him at first and even was worried he had killed Bobby . Now 15 years later he was married to Castiel the same angel who saved him , and even was raising Jack with him and he knew his dad would be hating from the grave .

"Hey "

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and even left a kiss on his cheek , he looked down to see what Dean was looking at . "Hey come here , it's time to put out the snacks "Cas whispered before letting go of his husband. Dean placed the photo book back and followed Cas out to the living room , it was time to keep the past in the past and enjoy his new life with Cas as his husband and be a great father to Jack.

"Party!"

Jack yelled as he had come in with Jody and Claire who were laughing as they handed Sam the snacks they had brought . Normally he would care if it was more then just him and Castiel , but Dean actually was glad their whole family was here and if Bobby was alive then he would laugh at the thought of Dean being romantic.

After everyone was greeted and they were talking with each other , Dean dragged Castiel outside till their feet were on the sand . "We will go back, but right now I just want to be with you " Dean whispered as they laid down on the sand , their life was in their hands and he was going to enjoy it .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @voiddeans for the idea


End file.
